Necessary Things For Himalayan Trekking

Melissa and Michelle and I have just returned from something everyone should experience at least once in their lives.....trekking in India's Himalayas. I had wanted to breathe some fresh air, see the snow capped peaks and start to prepare my limbs for the upcoming Kili trek (NEXT WEEK!!) but what I got was much more....memorable experiences and lessons....and a whole new ability to "rough it." I am looking forward to a 5 star retreat in Bombay before I head on over to Africa...but before I lose myself completely in the spa (must remove about 5 layers of dirt from my skin) I thought I would take a moment to share some things that all should have before embarking on a northern India trek.



1. Adaptability. Nothing is what it is. (how profound it that?) Up here, it isn't just the weather that changes at a drop of a hat. Everything is unpredictable. Indians do not need our western ideas of organization and promises. 'Oh, did I say you would have air mattresses in the tents? Oh....I think the other campers that came before you got them. Sorry. Ground for you." "Oh yes...I did say only 10 more kilometers 10 kilometers ago...but I think we still have 10 more to go. Almost there." "We must wait for 6 hours here because there is a landslide on the only route back...they should have it cleaned up...oh maybe 2 hours? Maybe 8 hours. You want tea while you wait?" Yes all these things were uttered by our guide numerous times. We slept in tents (without air mattresses), guest houses with burlap walls in sub freezing temperatures, and roadside hotels where the friendly Indian family next door (there were TWELVE in a room) shared all their food with us. We hiked in bright sunshine...but as soon as we stopped to put on suncream, the mist rolled in and were were rained on. We truged up and down paths crossing jagged rocks and piles of mule poo. We waited on the side of the road for hours for landslides to clear. And we became experts in patience as our guides gave us different options and parts to the trekking plane each day. One night, while huddling around a cooking fire to stay warm, we overheard one Indian trekker say in English..."I spent some time in Switzerland..you cannot believe it up there! They organize everything! Everything they say actually happens! It's so predictable and orderly!! And one amazing thing--I lost my wallet one day on the rain. They actually have a thing called 'Lost and found." Crazy! I went there...and you know what!? MY wallet was there!! People actually return things that do not belong to them! What a strange place!"




2. Ability to us the bathroom anywhere and then talk about the escapade with your mates. Mel and Mich and I spent about 30% of our time navigating possible toilet solutions in the northern forests. We spent another 30% of the time talking about what happened. Yes, yes we have reverted to 12 year old boys...for potty humour is hilarious up here. I am not sure that everyone understands India's toilet situation. In the case of rare outhouses....be prepared to find a decaying cubicle type structure with a hole in the ground...often times with various excrement left all over the floor. (I guess the hole is easy to miss??). Toilet paper is a foreign word so one must always trudge into the cubicle with a trusty roll stashed under the arm. Doors rarely close properly...and if they do, they shut out all light so you are crouching in blackness praying you don't drop the loo roll. Mushrooms may or may not grow around the walls. And cows wll naturally walk around outside as if trying to peer in. Ahh yes.....we have an ongoing competition for finding the worst toliet! Using the bathroom outside is far preferred,,,but well..we all know India's population density issue....and hiking in Yatra season doesn't leave alot of privacy on the trails. So you have a choice of doing a crouching dance in the middle of a disgusting mess...or braving the outdoors hoping a passing Sadhu doesn't catch you and decide to take a photo. Due to sensitive nose conditions, we preferred the latter...but are half expecting to find photos of ourselves on some bad website like "Pottyfetish.com" or "youthoughtthatsmallbushcoveredyour bum.com" We once tried not drinking water so we wouldn't have to deal with the issue...but well...not drinking and hiking 15 kilometers isn't really wise. Thank god for reduced modesty and hand sanitizer.



3. Fondness for the pilgrims. It is beautiful to watch the various pilgrims trudge up the hills, donned in their bright clothes and warm smiles. Indians have got to be some of the most generous and friendly people on earth. We were invited in to about every tea hut along the steep path....and crowded in with the other pilgrims to warm our hands by the fire and sip hot chai. One must forget their own unwashed body (and the definitely unwashed body of their hosts) and hug them and hold their hands as their affectionate culture requires.



4. Propensity to gorge yourself of chapattis. I have no idea why I thought I was going to lose wight in India. I remember my plan to "fatten" myself up in Vietnam for the inevitable fast I would be on here. Um...yeah. I think my longest fasting experience in my life lasted 2 hours. In India...probably 45 minutes. True, I have not eaten meat or had a drink in a month (sobriety is surprisingly fun...who would have thought?) but I have been stuffing myself on everything else. Indian food is damn GOOD! Wow---even the most filthy roadside hut in the middle of the mountains serves up a delicious medley of vegetarian delights. And chapattis--warm fire baked Indian bread-are served with everything. If I try to mathematically calculate the amount of Indian food (dahl, beans, veggie curries and chapatis) to western standards...I figure it's the equivalent of about 4 burritos per meal. (3-4 chapattis plus all the yummy curries inside). And then there iare the sancks! ALong the hill paths are huts that sell everything from "marsala chips" to samosas. When we are off the beaten path our guides offer us packaged sweets that we cannot refuse. Add three 4 burrito meals a day to little snacks every 2 hours....and well you have just a lot of darn good spicey food that would put meat on even Nicole Ritchi'es bones! M&M and I say every day that we are are going to "be good" and perhaps not have that extra biscuit with our chai or perhaps not take second helpings of date and paneer curry...but sure enough every day we out-eat ourselves again...setting new records for curry overindulgence. Our trekking guides watch us with amazement. As a aprting gift, our guide gave us not the standard prayer beads, or memento of the Himalayan mountain peaks, but rather a box of Choco Pies----a chocolate packaged snack that we devoured at every resting point on the hike.


5. Iron stomach. You do not need an iron stomach for the food (recall that we are all getting fat up here on the yummy cuisine) but rather for the windy roads the car takes to get you up the treacherous routes to the trekking spots. I do not know if it is the Karma /Darma thing or what...but Indians do not fear death. There are single lanes roads up the windy mountain paths and all drivers insist on taking them as fast as possible. A pathetic "honK' sounds as the car nears the blind turn...but not really to alert anyone they are coming (for it would be far too late to slow down) but rather to say "hi--prepare for a head on collision!"). It was so scary that we couldn't look ahead (or we would imagine what was coming around the turn) nor to the left side (for the cliff was about half a meter from the car and of cour there were no road barriers) nor down because the driving would make anyone carsick. The right side was also impossible to monitor. When oncoming traffic approached it managed to squeeze by us at light speed with maybe a centimeter to spare. My heart was in my mouth for most of the car journey. I practiced my yogi breathing technique, closed my eyes, and thought of pleasant things....like Apricot tarts....or chapattis.

So now filled filled with pleasant thoughts and most of the trekking grime washed from my body (oh yes....another necessity for Himalaya trekking is an arsenal of baby wipes) I will take a flight to Bombay's Bollywood....land of luxury and beauty. : ) Perhaps I'll be discovered as an emerging actress. Of course whoever "discovers" me will have to see through my hippy skirt and grimy Om t shirt....No why didn't I pack along my Jimmy Choos again???