Although with a slight Kilimanjaro limp, Monica and I were ready to tackle the Serengeti plains and Kopjes (those fake looking zoo rocks) and check off Lion Chasing on our Africa "To Do" list. We were armed with everything we needed:
1. THREE cameras (the best one courtesy of Mr. Tang)
2. Swahili phrasebook (updated by our Kili guide Yusto with er..colorful slang)
3. Four bottles of Deet insect spray and creme
4. Fancy Safari suits...well okay we couldn't bring ourselves to be too matchy matchy in khaki least anyone think we were a middle aged couple (although we were starting to feel like one)...but we did wear light colored clothing with lots of pockets and zippers and had on matching sun hats.
5. Patience....it's not like the leopards will stop what they are doing to jump out of trees for us! We knew we would need to bide our time as the wild unfolded before our eyes.
We took off in a dusty Land Rover with our new guide Rama and headed for the Simbas and Twigas (lions and giraffes).
To get to the Serengeti was an amazing full day drive worthy of an explanation itself. We drove through Masai villages (the only East African tribe to maintain traditional clothing and lifestyles), monkey forests (those pesky red butted baboons), and many large shallow lakes teaming with bird wildlife.
To fully give our loyal audience a taste of an African Safari I will divvy up this section into three segments: Bush Accommodation, Land Rover Cruising, and Key Animal Factoids.
Bush Accommodation
Although we were very hopefully to get the Ritz in the Bush experience, our Safari company was a bit more rustic...and thus thoroughly legit. Our accommodation ranged from mobile tented camps with hot bucket showers (explanation forthcoming) to permanent tented lodges, to brick and mortar REAL lodges complete with organic gardens and game rooms.
At first the hot 'bucket shower' label scared us. After Kili we wanted to be done with baby wipes forever! Was a faucet too much to ask for? I had terrible images of me pouring a bucket of water over Monica as she stood outside naked in the shrubs rubbing herself with wipes. Eee gads....Was this some bad "Girls gone Wild" scheme..."The Bush in the Bush?"
Thankfully it was not so....there was some fancy contraption where the staff poured kettle heated water from a bucket into a pipe that did indeed come out a faucet in our makeshift bathroom. The water only lasted 4 minutes....but after Kili--this was luxury.
Most of Serengeti accommodation is in tented lodges--these are permanent solid tents (large as a small cabin) that are scattered around landscaped grounds. The tents are complete with 2 double beds, a small bathroom, and of course mosquito nets. The tented camps also had separate units for a restaurant and bar where all the khaki clad hung out to talk about their animal sightings.
Land Rover Cruising
For those who are inspired to go on a Safari--let me warn you....while an exciting experience it is A LOT of car time. A lot of car time on really bumpy dusty roads. So if you are prone to car sickness, short attention spans, or hate the "I spy..." game than a Safari may not be for you. Now if you can deal with all of this then a Safari can be quite fun. There are animals everywhere and Monica and I felt pretty darn cool when we could say "Oh it's just another Gazelle herd out there with the random giraffe. Yawn." After day one we were already on the hunt for the elusive predator cats. Leopards, lions, cheetahs, oh my! While we just finished a male lion sighting, we would often see a brand new Safari group ogling a lone giraffe. Monica called this the "starter giraffe," the animal that gets the safari going before the clients are ready to move on to the more dangerous animals.
Now, please note that the Safari Land Rover in no yuppy Landrover that San Franciscans take to Whole Foods. No, no...this vehicle has no cushy seats, leather interior, or fancy sound system. Monica and I affectionately (or not so affectionately) referred to the 12 hour a day vehicle as "the Metal Box." However, the really cool thing about the car was that it had a pop top--so we could stand like prairie dos with our heads outside the car scanning the plains for Cheetahs and Rhinos. We did indeed see every animal we wanted. Our guide throughly annoyed us with all the fake animal noises he made ("this is Wildebeest mating cry" "This is dying hyena sound") but he DID effectively scout out every animal we had on our list and then some.
Random Animal Factoids
We saw lions eating elephants, cheetah moms mourning their lost young, and Topis (Elk like creatures) mating. We were living the Discovery Channel. There were a few things that Monica and I learned that either changed our perspective on life or gave us good dinner party topics:
1. Male lions suck. You may have known that the male lion is lazy and leaves all the hunting to the females while it sleeps the day away. But did you also know that the male lion who heads up the lion herd changes every few years? Every time a new male lion takes over it kills, yes KILLS all the baby cubs in the herd(as they were offspring from the past male). The lionesses try to defend their babies but to little avail. As soon as the cubs are killed the females immediately go into heat again. Talk about male dominance. I am so happy I am a homo sapiens.
2. While on the subjects of males...Monica and I would like to add in a new phrase--'Hung like an Elephant'. We are going to change the whole horse saying after we saw our 3rd male elephant...er...unit...dragging on the ground. 5th leg is an understatement. Very disturbing.
3. Male ostriches turn their necks and legs bright pink when they are ready to mate. I guess this is a sign to all the females out there who like the rosy color? Kindoff like flashing a Thomas Pink shirt and a thick wallet?
4. Conversely, female baboons turn their little behinds pink when they are ready to mate. From our personal observation it seemed all the females we saw were primed and ready to go. They must have been the human equivalent of the older women we see hanging out of their tops in cheesy bars in California. Also similar to some human females we have seen on Jerry Springer, female baboons fight each other aggressively with baring teeth and horrendous shrieks....again another phrase change...no longer is it a cat fight but rather a baboon fight.
5. Wildebeest are as stupid as they look. The migrating animal often gets lost on its way north to Kenya. Therefore the poor dumb beast has taken to befriending the smarter zebra and following the white and black stripes up the migratory path.
6. Hippos have a terrible life. In addition to winning the ugly award, their skin is extremely sensitive to sunlight. So that they do not get sunburnned, they spend most of their life hiding in cesspools, completely submerged underwater. Their only friends are crocodiles.
Animals are amazing creatures......but although the Safari was an experience of a lifetime I am ready to happily go back to random human cougar sightings in the Marina or stripe (shirt not zebra) outings in the Mission.
No comments:
Post a Comment