Ahoy Hanoi...or Finally I'm in Vietnam

I made it! One pit stop in Singapore and now here I am in bustling Hanoi.

Five tell tale signs I am in Southeast Asia

1. I have risked my life just crossing the street. Numerous times. Traffic here is a nightmare. There are no stop signs, no street lights, no rules, just mass chaos. Crossing the street is like playing a game of chicken against whizzing scooters, cars, bicycles, and street vendors. No one stops. Ever!I am terrible at this game. My first attempt had me waiting at the curb patiently waiting for someone to notice the lonely lovely pedestrian and stop (or at least slow down) for her to cross. I waited for 20 minutes looking like an idiot with unsurprisingly little luck. My second attempt, a bit braver than the first, consisted of me crossing the street in multiple spurts to dodge mopeds. But alas, pausing in the middle of the road is stupid (Deer in headlights syndrome-and I get yelled at) so now I have a new technique. I say a quick prayer, close my eyes and sprint across the road as fast as I can, hoping traffic will doge me. They are doing a decent job. However, I made a will just in case a speeding cart of poultry gets the better of me.

2. I have become a massage whore. (no, no-not as a profession but rather as an addict). For less than the price of my breakfast in Australia I can receive a 60 minute head to toe rub down. The first time was a bit startling as the woman insisted I undress while she stood watching me smiling (and no, I didn't go to one of THOSE places...) but even with the voyeurism to my Caucasian nakedness the massages here are solid, a blend of Thai, Swedish, and Reflexology, and (thankfully) all reputable. I guess the government did a major crack down of the prostitution ones offering "happy ending liquid explosions" a few years ago. They are safe. They are $8. And I think I am going to get one every day. Ahhhhh......

3. I have eaten 10 cent street food. I also had no idea what exactly I purchased. It was yellow. It was tasty (like er...chicken). But I suppose it wouldn't really be the true southeast asia street food experience unless I managed to get a little curse from one of my little treats and spend some time admiring the southeast asian plumbing system. Sigh. Fresh spring rolls only for dinner tonight.

4. I have bartered for clothing. Although pretty unsuccessfully. This used top be my niche. Guatemala, Thailand, China....you name it I could barter down even a sick old woman to the last dime. I was ruthless. Well, no longer. Women are using a secret weapon against me. Their children. How on earth can I try to barter down a dollar when and adorable child is staring at me. Sometimes they even tug my clothes and say hello. Their meals, schoolbooks, college tuition flash before my eyes. Before you know it I start offering the woman more than she originally asked for. I am putty in their hands. Pathetic.

5. I have gotten lost. Hanoi has a unique street system. The streets change name every few blocks or so. This makes a fun challenge when trying to navigate. It rather dictates that you look like a tourist while walking with a huge Vietnamese map in front of your face trying to figure out what part of the road you are on. Many street names also start with the word "Pho." This does not mean the soup. (I actually thought it did when i first arrived---wow--every street has soup!). Motorbikes are around plenty to offer lifts but I generally refuse them as I stubbornly try to navigate my own way....even if it takes three hours to go half a mile. Its highly humid out so I imagine my stubbornness will start to falter after a while.

The city hosts delights a plenty but I am eager to leave and get up to the highlands on night train tonight...I have 4 days in Sapa and then a three day boat tour of the majestic Halong Bay. But now, since I did make it to Vietnam, I must roll the credits and offer thanks where gratitude is due. People, especially Australians, are nicer than I ever imagined. I have renewed faith in the human race.

The credits--

• Troy, a random Australian that I met while enjoying my "real last last" meal in Perth. He insisted on saving me another cab fare and driving me to the airport after hearing my story how I had been there twice already but unable to leave. Although I did keep my pocket knife close to me during the drive (haha--if he tried to chop me up on little pieces I'd chop him first!), he had no ulterior motives and was quite enjoyable company.


• Clinton from Asia World travel. Sadly the flight my Vietnamese Visa was on was delayed by three hours...meaning that it arrived 10 minutes after my flight to Vietnam took off. Clinton, the manager of the tour operator handed me my visa at 1.05am. The next flight wouldn't be for another 24 hours. However, he was kind enough to let me crash in his family's spare room, drive me to the airport in the early morning, and book me a hotel in Singapore as he insisted a night there would be better than hanging out on Perth all day.


• Singapore Airlines. Even though my ticket had restrictions that prevented any changes, they changed my flight for me three times without charge. Including the last minute whim to hang out in Singapore. Note to self....looking pathetic and frantic in the midst of travel chaos helps.