Trying for a Tri

My friend Brooke inspired me to do a triathlon with her. You may recall her name as the interviewer on the Brooke Bryand show and author of Brooklyn's blog: http://brookebryand.blogspot.com

For some reason I agreed to follow her lead through a lake wearing a wetsuit, over winding roads on a racing bike (keep in mind I had no bike at the time), and uphills in my running shoes. I can run, but bike or swim??? Not since I was 12!

I think I agreed to this while in my happy ashram phase of life.

But as I never go back on my word, I started training. Training involved jumping into a pool to not sun myself but rather swim laps. The first time I went to the Sportsclub LA pool I went in a bikini. Please don't ask me why I thought this was acceptable. My bottom came off during my first lap. Oh yes, my first take off was apparently so full of force that the little Dolce and Gabbana bottom got left ..er...behind. I was immediately dinged as the silly girl newbie by the goggled speedo wearers. I hastily bought a speedo after that and hoped that my goggles and swimming cap would adequately disguise me. I never wanted to be recognized as the bikini lap girl.

Biking was no easier. I didn't own one, to start with. My dear friends, Nga and Clarence escorted me to the bike shop to help me pick out a suitable road bike. Long legs, once my pride, were now cursed as few bikes fit my odd shaped frame. The whole too much leg, no torso curse. After hoping on a variety of models, I finally decided upon the women's model of a beautiful Cannondale synapse. I selected padded biking shorts (try walking around in depends for a while), padded gloves, a helmet, and some sexy white racing shoes. The credit card total was more than I care to admit. After spending this much money I was anxious for my bike to arrive so I could start parading around with it. I was pleased to look the part! My bike took TWO LONG WEEKS to arrive. I was so excited to pick it up and be seen in my new gear, joining the cycling elite of San Francisco. Sadly luck was not on my side. For the non cyclers out there---Bike shoes clip in and out of the bike pedals, locking you in and making you one with the bike. For a newbie--this clip in deal was no easy task.

I jumped on the bike hoping to clip in immediately.....I flailed around unsuccessfully and jumped off. I leapt up again....and I strained my groin muscles trying to get up over the seat....to no avail. I tried another time...success one shoe clipped in..now the other....crap...crap..clip IN shoe CLIP IN!!!!.....about to fall...must clip OUT first shoe. Oh no cars---need to STOP! Clip out! clip OUT! Danger danger..oncoming cars...I finally clipped out and my feet flew to the ground. The cleats of the shoes were so slippery that both feet slipped out in opposite directions making me do a splits over the frame of the bike.

To prevent further disaster, I decided to walk my bike home. Yup, walk the bike wearing my padded bike shorts, my blue padded gloves, my white racing shoes, and my blue helmet...right up Pacific Heights hills. Someone was sure to recognize me. Mortifying.

I made it home safely and resolved to practice clipping in at the gym with stationary bikes before taking my new bike out again. Less mortification.

How terrible! My confidence was shook. I surf. I run. I snowboard. I yoga. I hiked Mt Kilimanjaro just a month ago! Please body cooperate and prove you have more coordination than a paraplegic. To the shoe clip in God please hear my pleas! I need to master this triathlon thing without killing myself! The cool outfit will only get my halfway there!